One of six

the keeping

the body in another’s hands — the clinic, the held heart, the community

Illness is not an event inside one body. It is a temporary dispersal — the self handed out for safekeeping to the people who hold its meaning when you cannot: family, nurses, the friend who answers the phone. I am a pediatrician; I sit on the side of the exam-room threshold where another person’s selfhood is being held. The patient is not less of a self when ill — the self is just, for a while, distributed. These works carry that out of the room — the heartbeat, the hand, the worn white coat — and past it, into the neighborhood and the children in it. The ones who hold us are part of the body that is healing.

preamble
preamble
illness as a temporary dispersal of the self into the people who hold it: family, nurses, the friend who answers the phone.
water hands
water hands
twelve photographs made with a group of at-risk youth, their hands shaped around a memory, a fear, a hope, a future.
hugs on wall
hugs on wall
twenty-five papers, each embraced by a healthcare worker for as long as they wished; each keeps the negative space of one act of care.
100 blessings
100 blessings
a self-portrait not of the face but of the clinician’s hand: one hundred small panels, ninety-two carrying the signature repeated across a day’s charts and orders, eight carrying a mirror — the fraction of the count where the gaze returns and the patient is, for a moment, truly seen.
brand new
brand new
the hangers a physician’s coats keep returning on, by the hundreds, now holding thrift-store shirts worn by other bodies first. White cannot conceal what touches it; the stains stand for the cost of care across many bodies and many years — two of the shirts fallen where the pedestal cannot hold them.
lorem ipsum
lorem ipsum
two anonymous cement torsos joined across the shoulders by a barked branch — the yoke of inheritance, the obligation passed from body to body. The figures are placements; the story stays the same — born, in love, ill, passing on, and the finding, somewhere across all of it, of a calling — while the bodies that occupy it change.
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